How to purchase an engagement ring

Okay this is going to be painful but just keep repeating, it’s not about me,
it’s not about me…

When you finally muster up the courage, brush your teeth, comb your hair, and head to the jewelry store, any one will do. Once you get there tell the sales person your price range and then pick the most expensive ring you can afford. This should take about two minutes. Now here’s the excruciating part, purchase a ring twice as big as the one you can afford! That should do it. Why you ask? Have you been repeating it’s not about me? It’s about her, dummy! She is the one who has to show that ring to every person she knows including coworkers, family members and even strangers. Put yourself in her place for a second. Imagine thrusting your hand forward with a little dinky rock so cute and tiny resting there like a little speck of salt. And besides, you don’t want her to think that this a “starter marriage” for you and that you will be less frugal the next time around.

And don’t forget to get on your knees when you propose! That’s the second question she will be asked after, (1) let me see the ring and (2) how did he propose. Have you been repeating it’s not about me? Good luck.